I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
