It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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