We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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