When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
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my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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