I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
