there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
