I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
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hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
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we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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