I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
