I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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