Your mouth is God's brothel.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
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We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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