So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
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So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
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you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.