Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
this boner is exhausting
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.