someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.