There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
