I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
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im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
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Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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