there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Alive.
So much puke
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize