Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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