i will never coherently bang her
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"