it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.