I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.