just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Canadian or clown?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?