At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
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I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
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In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?