i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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