Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
