I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
