Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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