No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
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Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
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Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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