omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize