you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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