oh god the rape fog is back!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.