i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?