so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I need a beard to bite.