something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
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