all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
