A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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