There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.