Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.