I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?