Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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