my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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