I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I fill condoms, not promises.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
try to milk me bitch
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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