life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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