I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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