Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
