I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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