you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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