We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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