i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
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Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
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And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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