Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
