guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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