no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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