my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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