ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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