aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
