I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We're too hungover to prance.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize