my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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