i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
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We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
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It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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