she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize