How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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