i don't like sucking hair
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Houston, we have a squirter
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
